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The Forever Lazy: Really!?

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This is it's intention.  Kill it with fire!
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This is it's intention. Kill it with fire!

Forgive the lengthy rant following this sentence, but this is ridiculous.

The first time I saw this commercial I thought it was a spoof. It had to be. It reminded me of faux ads on Saturday Night Live. It actually made me laugh thinking of John Belushi being the spokesperson for his Little Chocolate Doughnuts. I was waiting for Phil Hartman to walk on screen playing some goofy character. It didn't happen. I didn't even get Chris Elliot.

The Forever Lazy is a product being marketed for those who are just too darn lazy to wear a blanket OR it’s deformed, backwards wannabe robe cousin, the Snuggie. So it’s basically a zip jumpsuit you wear around the house, which is fine I guess. But there is just one problem, YOU CAN WEAR A SWEATSHIRT AND PANTS ALREADY! It’s like if you decided to throw away your couch so you could buy a bunch of “new” pillows and duct tape them together. I mean, it serves the same purpose and is infinitely more embarrassing. I dare someone to wear one of these things in public (as it shows countless times on the commercial).

The Forever Lazy, for those who want to look like they're wearing footie pajamas as a full-fledged adult. I thought that immediately, but then my live-in girlfriend pointed out that it doesn't have any feet. No less than 5 seconds later the announcer came in with “your free gift.” I’ll give you one guess….Slipper Socks.

I forgot the best part, the @$$flaps. Yes, I know, long johns have had them forever. But long johns are yet another product that already exists. So now they’ve taken the laziest parts of them all and bred them into this monstrosity.

finally a blanket I can poop in!
finally a blanket I can poop in!

I can see the production board meeting.
-“Okay, I have this new product. They were dumb enough to buy all those Snuggies. Let’s just sell them footie pajamas.”

- “As the head of this company, I, in good conscience, can’t sell this to consumers.”

-“Okay, how about this. We cut off the feet and give it back to them for ‘free’.”

-“Well what about when you want to go to the bathroom?”

-“This was being saved for the Infinitely Obese coming out in 2014, but we have been working on a butt-flap prototype.”

-“Genius!”

So, to sum it up, if you buy the Forever Lazy you will be magically transformed from a man/woman into basically what amounts to a Muppet Baby. Wait, now I wanna buy one…

Comments

myawn 3 months ago

I don't think I would purchase this product I like my blankie Ha Ha!But maybe someone else would be comfortable wearing it.

lisadpreston 3 months ago

I want one badly!!!!!! I just asked my grandma to get me one. LOL. She wants one too. Loved the muppets video. I watched it 4 times.

lisadpreston 3 months ago

ok, 5 times.

skinsman82000 3 months ago

haha, yeah, I loved that show when I was little.

Simplicity4All 3 months ago

this is hilarious, great hub and rant. i thoroughly enjoy your version of their board meeting especially since that us probably a pretty accurate depiction of what went down, thanks for following my hubs! I look forward to enjoying more of yours, sadly I'm not sitting around on my laptop in my lazy gear perhaps I see a stupid purchase in my near future haha :D

Katharella 3 months ago

IT COMES IN PINK?

I'M GETTING ONE!!!!!!!

skinsman82000 3 months ago

please, the both of you, don't. It will encourage them.

Katharella 3 months ago

Ok fine. Regardless of the color my boyfriend would still call the back flap "easy access" LOL!

hecate-horus 3 months ago

Yikes. The imaginary conversation in the board meeting, I think you hit the nail on the head. Americans will buy anything if you package it right! Funny hub,voted up!

skinsman82000 3 months ago

Can't say I disagree there! I'm more partial to no pants....haha.

marcoujor 3 months ago

Are these stylish garments available for 'lazy puppies'?

I love that mother - daughter look when lounging around the house... and 'when us gals sit around the house'... oh, sorry, this was FUNNY, so nice to meet you, mar.

skinsman82000 3 months ago

thanks for the comment. I didn't look into any lazy pet clothing. I'm sure you could fashion something for a few dogs out of one...

travel_man1971 3 months ago

Oh my! I might try this one, hahaha! Or maybe when I get sick. -_-

Outbound Dan 3 months ago

As I saw this for the first time late at night, I too thought it was a spoof - I kept looking for the punchline. I thought about buying one and walking around with a flowbee personal haircutting device for Halloween. What would I be - a gullible tv consumer.

skinsman82000 3 months ago

That's a really good idea Dan. What about 6-second abs or the spray on hair from Ronco. Thanks for the comment.

John MacNab 3 months ago

Looks and sounds revolting skinsman82000. I will NOT become so lazy - honest.

Motown2Chitown 3 months ago

My favorite part of the commercials? The group wearing them while tailgating. WTF?!?!

Muppet baby? Hahahaha!

skinsman82000 3 months ago

Yeah, the tailgating is absurd. The first time I see someone wearing one in public, I'll be sure to take a picture. Maybe I'll put it on here, ha.

Derdriu 3 months ago

Skinsman82000, What an amusing, entertaining, gently ironic look at consumerism! In particular, the imagined board meeting is an effectively humorous way to end such an all-around hilarious article.

Thank you for sharing,

Derdriu

Motown2Chitown 3 months ago

Don't take a picture. Beat them up.

Oops. Did I say that out loud?

skinsman82000 3 months ago

haha, well it was going to be a very condescending picture.

Jlava73 3 months ago

I love the idea. I just hope we don't start to see people wearing them on the street :) Love your sense of humor!

Claudia Tello 3 months ago

Same as John MacNab. I swear I will never become that lazy, never ever!

Leafy Den 3 months ago

In theory, these sound wonderful...warm and comfy and saves lots of decision making every morning! But, what's next...the forever lazy, never going out, becoming a hermit, spending your days in front of the computer or TV snacking...being so comfy that you forget to shower or have a bath, ending up with greasy hair, grungy teeth as too lazy to brush. These are only for those who just don't care or for the very rich who can afford the lifestyle robots aka Jetsons - those robots who wake, wash and feed you and then pour you into your freshly washed Forever Lazy...LOL! Great hub!

Leafy Den 3 months ago

For those who may not remember the Jetsons, here is a reminder:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2h5mpmSoc4

skinsman82000 3 months ago

I haven't thought about the Jetsons in quite a while, thanks for the link and comments Leafy Den.

d.william 3 months ago

comical hub. Although i have not seen this commercial, i am not the least bit surprised. The majority of commercials are written to appeal to the 6 grade level of intelligence - exactly what the average American has. (L.O.L. but not really funny) I especially liked the video.

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